Shopping Through The Snow.......

Okay we don't have snow, but you get the idea.

Its been no secret that I have been feeling a little down lately. What with my inability to sign up for Obamacare; the hours and hours I have sat here at the computer while one error message comes up after another.

Couple that with the fact that I lost out on a job as a Obamacare navigator because I have no arrest record ----- arrrgh ---- I have just been at wits end.

But then an old friend wrote me. A friend I knew from school lo those many years ago. His tale is so heartwarming; so full of the Christmas spirit I just have to share the relevant to parts with you:

" ‘Black Friday’: the phrase conjures up piling dollar signs of savings, oodles of bauble laced bargains, as well as the bragging rights to being the first to grab that one ‘special’ item for that one special person.

‘Black Friday’: it’s the shot in the arm our lagging economy needs. Holiday shoppers in droves scurry about rescuing the very existence of our mortar and brick storefronts. It’s adventurous! It’s romantic! It’s patriotic! And I’ve always sat it out.

Mine has been a boring life, a lullaby existence of doing what is convenient and calculated, avoiding the stress and crowds because I choose my Christmas fare year round in gas stations and dollar stores.

Yeah, I’m cheap. But ever since my wife left me for the boiler man, I’ve had to re-assess myself. As I look back on my dullness I realize we never even had a boiler and that each Thanksgiving, while I would listen to my loved ones plan out their Black Friday itinerary, salivating at the thrill of the hunt, I would sit quietly, smiling and idly building a gravy pool in my mashed potatoes so I could sail boats of corn kernels. Meanwhile my wife would wander off to the basement.

So this year I decided to come out and show my ex the kind of man I really am: not a milk-toast, but a man of action, a man of danger and excitement who will willingly take a chance not to see tomorrow. Sorry Johnny Rivers.

So I prepared. I wore a cup, goggles, elbow pads and a bright yellow strap on plastic helmet. I studied hours of videotape of ex-Flyer Bobby Clark, in his prime, working the boards and behind the net. And I am happy to report that my Black Friday shopping was a complete and utter success.

Not only did I find such wonderful bargains as a solar cumquat squeezer and a multi-faceted Austrian nose hair braider, but I met a wonderful girl. Okay, so we have to use separate cars when we go out because of all the wonderful bargains we’ve found. But at least this year, thanks to Black Friday, I will have someone to kiss under the mistletoe. That is, if I can squeeze into her apartment because of all the boxes and old newspapers.

So take my advice my old friend – shop early and shop often."

 

Such sage advice.