Enough With The Zombies Already.....

This is another reason I am happy we ditched the television. Cable expects to saturate the market this fall with undead shows. Shows that seek to copy the success of THE WALKING DEAD.

Literature has been oversaturated; in fact we have drowned in zombie tales. We have choked in hurried, hackneyed zombie apocalypse tales. Submission calls thankfully have dwindled but television as television usually does is behind the times and is always beckoning to the brain dead who are also behind the times.

The trope has been used up. The themes are basic and worn.

I just saw the promo for ZNATION.

(Long pause)

Enough already.

The Walking Dud

It is apt this schlock titled its last episode TOO FAR GONE. It has been for some time. Dear AMC, Can this waste of airspace just please go?

PESTS is published in an anthology

My short story PESTS has been published in Sourcepoint Press' FEAST OF THE DEAD: HORS D'OEUVRES. Yes, available on Amazon. The funny thing is I didn't hear from the publisher, I stumbled on it by accident as I was getting ready to query them.

What makes this doubly interesting is we share the bill with some folks from THE WALKING DEAD. PESTS by the way is a humorous short story about the undead.


http://www.amazon.com/Feast-Dead-Source-Point-Press/dp/0989650456/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

The Walking Dud Continues

Does anyone know how the Governor escaped the horde that Andrea dropped on him by swinging that door open? Wait maybe he has the same magical powers that Michonne used to retrieve the family photo at the diner while Carl waited outside. Oh yeah and maybe it is the same time displacement yoga pilates that skips winters too! Oh, magical OZ of Zombies I enjoy this show, I enjoy this show. I just went out and purchased a whole litter of kitties and named each one after every main character in the show! Yeah, right, what am I six? I know I am in the minority here but "COME ON MAN!!!" The writing and plotting have become cartoony and too fast and loose. Certain aspects of the plot are drawn out way too much while others are simply slighted. This has now become insulting. My wife, who is a huge fan, is now becoming disenchanted. It is a shame... She watches while I sit and work in another room. We discuss what she watches and I might overhear, but tonight she's had it. I can tell and I don't blame her. What is next flying slow motion and stop motion ninja moves? Oh yes a torture chamber, after all we have to keep those HOSTEL and SAW fans satiated. And enough with trying to sell the soundtrack --- frankly I think it is sappy and sucks. Look, you are right maybe I couldn't do any better. But to be honest, given the time, yeah I think I could. Between the God aweful remake of GODZILLA tonight and this, AMC is closing in on becoming the SCI-FI channel. Please bring back BREAKING BAD, please....please....

Interesting Numbers

Besides the 38 inches of snow that fell here between Friday and Saturday; as well as the 5 foot snow drifts etc.; I came across some interesting numbers that have been trending for the last six months. Many of you who feel the need to practice this torture called writing and submissions are aware of the website DUOTROPE. It is a writers' website where we hopefuls can search and find the next crushing rejection. Free until the beginning of 2013 the site does publish a monthly state of the state of publishing. In the last 30 days 177 markets have re-opened! Hooray!!! BUT 166 others have temporarily closed and an additional 114 are offically dead leaving a net loss of 103. On this day before the night that THE WALKING DEAD return, and I don't mean the state of music to be celebrated via the Grammys (Go MEGADETH), the downward trend of markets has been steady. As writers we need to plug away and utilize every potential media we can. Like the dead who walk that we write about, we are not quite finished yet.

THE DEAD HAVE AWOKEN A REVIEW

Somewhat. Sunday's episode of "The Walking Dead" was better; although I did not see T-Dog being killed off, I was suprised Lori met with her end so soon. I was expecting her to meet her maker in the next three episodes. My wife will continue to watch, I am still sticking with football.

Horror's Newest Flavor of the Month Heaven Help Us All PART TWO

I think I may have broken a rib but let us continue... So, what is more horrifying than one serial killer. My God that is obvious---it must be two or more serial killers. True. But take it a step farther, what is even more horrifying than more than one serial killer---my God that is it!!!! EUREKA---A family of serial killers. Yes, that is right: A Daddy, a Mommy and even 2.5 children--okay 2 children serial killers. I bet their dog even gives rabies. This plot line was first introduced in 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' chain of movies from 1974. The X-Files, even Jason and his mother, and various novels and short story plot lines have followed. Last season, an episode of 'Luther' chillingly showcased two twin serial killers. This episode more than any other I have mentioned was, yes brilliant and terrifying in its random portrayal, but the majority are---Really? What is happening to this trope as with the prior themes; it is losing all of the character, the history, the sense of terror, the footsteps in the here and now. This trope by extending to an evil family set denies the characters of their twisted intellect and urges. It becomes a cartoon. Think 'Munsters' and 'Addams Family'. Intellectually we know there are no vampires. We know there are no werewolves so whatever damage was done to these tropes big deal we live with it and in a century or so they will rebound when the vehicles that destoyed them fade into their inevitable obscurity. But we do know there are serial killers out there. Families are more likely to kill each other than group together and kill as a matter of urge or sport. To turn this into an edge Addams Family or The Munsters or some stylized cartoon further numbs our sense of reality. No, this is not about rehashing Tipper Gore's idiocy about record labels'; or pushing bad data about horror stories, movies, television and the creating of murderers. This about the cartoonization and trivialization of this trope. How many horror writers out there have ever met a serial killer, let alone a cold blooded killer? How many understand the nature of these inviduals and their crimes? The old nurture versus nature arguement, you know. Few to none I believe. How many have sat in a maximum security prison across from someone who believes that murder and dismemberment equate with shopping? I thought so. When we write we need to suspend reality. True. But the only way this suspension truly works is if the writing holds onto something real and the suspension is still rooted in day to day life. The problem is this latest trope is simply piling words upon words like potato chips in a bowl, blood here, blood there, a limb here, a limb there with a brag about what the killer is about to do. It's the comics all over again. While these stories, in the short term, look tasty, once eaten they will leave your stomach in an ache and wanting for more. I don't want to be flavor of the month. I want my stories to live beyond me and the next post. To that end this year we have made great strides. I want my stories to be read by someone a hundred years from now and I want that future reader to squirm in his or her chair and not look upon my tale as some greasy yet popular potato chip of the day. Can we derail this trope now before it becomes even more comedic and limiting?

Horror's Newest Flavor of the Month Heaven Help Us All PART ONE

After the Vampire trope was trashed and destoyed several years ago for the next century, writers and producers took aim at the zombie trope and today I can report the same Sherman-like surgery and wake of destruction has taken place. Notably, the new season of AMC's "The Meandering Dud" or "The Walking Dead" continues to bore. Even using electrodes and battery shocks my brain cannot be stimulated by the overworked plot and kitchen sink approach. I have gotten to the point of humming "A three hour tour" each and every time the programs comes on. For God's sake, we can how the epidemic zombie rampage has come about but no one can tell me why every lawn is meticuously kept month and months after the apocalypse. Magazines and ezines are now backing away from zombie apocalypse story lines admitting they have played out. DING DONG -- WHO IS IT? THREE YEARS AGO. For a time there was confusion around the globe. What will us poor writers do? What can we turn to? What can we write about? Do we have to retreat to greeting cards to satisy our creative lust? Well since imagination is hardly promoted or sought in the arts we need to find the next best thing scientifically. We need to take our giant brains and apply the scientific method in order to develop the next horrific scream maker. But how can we do that you ask? How can we find something something interesting and more horrific that will satisfy a reader's curiosity and allow our immense talents to manipulate language better than any, and here is an oxymoron, skilled attorney, to delight and enthrall the public? What abour werewolves? No can't use them. They were collateral damage in one of those series that destroyed the vampire. What about werewolves in speedoes? See above. What taking history and a historic figure and merging it with horror? Yeah, great idea why don't you have Lincoln hunt vampires-----oh yeah that went well. What about the Devil? What about Satan? No, we must stay politically correct and we do not want to offend Atheists or Christians and what would the President and Islam think? No, we must find something that will appeal to all generations and all faiths and all political and socio-economic sensabilities. We need to get back to basics. We need to find the true base-line; the underying theme that unites us all. MURDER. Yes, murder. And what is more horrifying than than one murder? More than one murder. What about serial killing? Well that hasn't played itself out. Short pause for immense laughter from the writer of this blog.) Part Two coming after I finish laughing.

"The Meandering Dead" A REVIEW

This will be my last statement on "The Walking Dead" for now. I realize I am in a minority as there is so much twitter and internet buzz over this new season; but I have to say episode two did little to dissuade my disappointment. Still no Governor, no Merle, no Michonne, and no Andrea. Personally, I am not happy with the writing, the continuity holes, the conflicting treatment of characters, etc. This story is meandering for me and I don't know if I will stick around for episode three. Just a little rhyme, nothing witty to say; it must be the b-o-r-e-d-o-m. Maybe I am just zombied out. Just like the vampire as a concept was overplayed and bastardized so walk the dead.

Issue 6 of SURREAL GROTESQUE OUT NOW!!!

This is the Halloween Issue! Issue 6 of SURREAL GROTESQUE is out. I have two appearances in this issue dedicated to Urban Legends. My short story "Diminishing Sight" (a Halloween story) and my article on the television series THE WALKING DEAD also appears. Give it a read if you dare---the artwork alone is worth it. That and my story and article too. This article was written well before the season premiere of The Walking Dead that I dubbed last night as The Walking Dud. Read the article, and my story, and you will see why I posted last night as I did.

"The Walking Dud" Season Opener A REVIEW

With a grand build up and a double marathon lead-in Season 3 of "The Walking Dead" premiered on AMC just a few mere moments ago. AMC must be so proud of this episode because, as of this writing they are re-running it prior to the season opener of "Talking Dead". I don't know what they will be talking about but I am just about done mumbling my disappointment. With all the build up of a hurricance/blizzard for the ages all I felt when this baby hit the shore was a mild breeze. Where was the governor? Why was Michonne limited to a handful of non sequitar minutes? This franchise played up the entry of these new characters but I guess that was a tease to get me to episode two. I feel cheated. I feel used. For the episode that did air, the prison battle went about as expected but the twists served up the writers left more questions than wide-eyed shock. For example, for such a tactician why didn't Rick leave his medical man, Herschel, behind to look after his pregnant wife. Why was it so essential that he part of this away team? Maybe he watched too much classic Star Trek. And if there are a group of living breathing prisoners essentially hiding from the flesh eating zoimbies--why weren't these zombies hanging out near them. Maybe time will tell next week or in Season Four.

THE WALKING DEAD in a Review

My article concerning AMC's THE WALKING DEAD will appear in SURREAL GROTESQUE'S HALLOWEEN/OCTOBER issue along with my Halloween tale 'Diminishing Sight'. Details to follow.