Chapter 4 The Devil's Hour

Three in morning is commonly known as the Devil's Hour; a time when spirits and demons are at their most active and this morning they did not disappoint.

At exactly 3:07 am and 16 seconds both are night vision camera and electronic record ding devices picked up a rare simultaneous paranormal action. On camera a fine white mist developed over our cook top---could it be a the ghost of flour tossed in the air? I say flour because of the simultaneous evp recorded; an evp that terrified the entire team: "add flour" "add flour".

At exactly 3:11 am and 19 seconds as the team was was climbing stairs to a catwalk; the entire team, and I stress that everyone was accounted for; heard a disembodied scream "Where's the Risotto!" coming from the space directly below them. This scream was heard by all but since all our recorders malfunctioned at that same time, we were unable to record it and we knew this to definitely be be paranormal.

At 3:23 am and 47 seconds we picked up the strong smell of bacon cooking. The smell was traced just inside a doorway where there was a vacant room. Could this room have housed a kitchen or a hotplate in its past?

As we trudged on I decided to go for broke. I unpacked a small gas powered hibachi. My plan was to use this cookware as a trigger object to draw the hauntings directly to me. This was a gamble of sorts, but a gamble that soon paid off.

As I had finished preparing the salad course, prepping for the main course, I and my camera man distinctly heard a voice. This voice was followed by a dart shadow like figure running past the basket of pimento loaf. The voice, or should I say the entity, quickly established itself as intelligent: "Where's the potatoes?" "Wheres the potatoes?"

Just think how unjust it must be for a spirit to be caught between the world of the living and eternal rest; to be locked into a sort of limbo because a last request or a want has gone unsatisfied.

We not only study ghosts but we help where we can to send them toward the light. It was at that moment that I decided to cleanse this building of at least one spirit. I quickly dug into my cooler pulling out a hand full of sweet potatoes in effort to whip up a souffle.

Twelve minutes and sixteen seconds later; we distinctly heard a loud and angry disembodied yell that came not five feet from me "I wanted russets!"

In an undisclosed location; a location we are sworn not to divulge, the dead both appear and speak in an eternal struggle between our world and that of salvation.

The End.

Intermission and a note

Before we proceed through the final installments of the ghosts and the gourmet, those who tuned in for Paranormal Home Remodeling, it will be pre-empted for a while after all poltergeists and nail guns do not mix.

Chapter 3 It Crushed My Ding Dong

It was also at the moment that we discovered there was a second voice on our recorder. This was the voice of a female. As we listened closely within the white noise we could hear 'oops'; and then when I realized it crushed my ding dong.

In a bag next to the grill some eight inches from my tongs and apron in a crisp new brown paper lunch bag my ding dong was smashed, yet the bag is untouched.

Afraid? Yes. I should have left my snack in the car.

Chapter 2 A Gourmet

We shuddered when we heard that chilling voice. For a moment we were frozen where we stood. Then I realized this place's last incarnation was an adult movie house. I should have worn my other sneakers.

Luckily too we caught the voice on our digital recorders.

After careful review we realized we not only discovered paranormal activity; we discovered a gourmet.

Chapter 1 The Set Up

So they think they can scare me. They think because I mock them with a ghost cooking show idea this local paranormal group will show me whats what and what is by bringing me to a haunted location while I toil with my grill.

I have news for them; if you saw the size of me; nothing----I mean nothing gets between me and my food.

To quote the song as recorded by the immortal Jerry Lee Lewis and written by Robert Geddins--'Ain't no haint's gonna run me off.'

As we were setting up our equipment; grill, cameras, infrared lights, etc. One tech, on his union demanded break, went to eat a balogna sandwich; now keep in mind four of us were there; it got very cold--cold to the point we could see our own breath. Goose bumps sprung up on our skin; in an instant the sandwich appeared to be slapped from the huingry man's hand and mouth and we all heard in a strained by vile voice----GET OUT!

The game is on.

What Are You Watching?

I have put together a pitch for a prime time reality television show that I believe should cross over two strong demographics. This show is perfect for holiday sweeps as well as those mundane times during the spring and summer.

What we do is travel to each state in the union, (that is fifty Mr. President) and match up paranormal teams and chefs. We find the most haunted place and have the chef cook during a night time lock down as the paranormal team hunts ghosts.

Recipes can be collected on evps and fun and mayhem, depending on the site, can ensue.

If this is successful we can branch out to 'paranormal home remodeling'; just keep an eye on the nail gun.

Don't be sure someone hasn't beaten me to it though.