Failure, A Vignette

There is little to be said. It is so obvious. Yes. It is so blatantly obvious. So obvious to any self important intellectual. Failure is so many things. Failure is pervasive. Failure is so obvious you smirk at it every turn.

Failure can be a lack of stuff. Failure can be the rut of a daily life. Failure can be accomplishments you feel are boring. Failure is all about vengeance and possessing a desire to deceive and manipulate.

Failure is the branding of the pathetic by those who profess success.

But don't the barometers of comparisons run cold?

Yes, but unlike your base trash level view of what is important0. Unlike the cocky swaggering intellectualism you profess to wallow in, I have learned failure is tied to self-loathing; the skeleton that is the base of the pretty flesh of success.

There is nothing philosophical, theological or spiritual about it.

You'll find out

Cut That Deal

It started with Robert Johnson at the Cross Roads and continued down that fine line driven by Jerry Lee Lewis. AC/DC then ran down that Highway....I've been told I have no soul so how can I make a deal?

My Mind Is A Blank

It's a terrifying feeling. I can't think of anything to write. I can't work on any work. I can't make up my mind about what to have for dinner/ My mind is a total blank; an absolute zero; a barren wasteland; an arid desert; a sugar free dessert; a non-alcoholic beer.

My mind is a eunuch; flaccid and dull.

How does __________________ handle it.

You fill in the blank. I'm in enough trouble with the 'beautiful people' here in the People's Republic.
 

Did I Just Become Self Aware or Am I Just Full Of It?

Recently I came across a version an amazing cover of a famous song performed by a twelve year old.
This young lady plays guitar better than most of the locals I have seen. But as I watched this kid, with immense talent, several people in the crowd buzzed amongst themselves, yet loud enough, that this was absolute proof that the song and the group who performs the song are overrated.

The beauty of art is in its simplicity. The beauty of art in any form is its ease in transcendence to reach into different medium and is accessible to everyone. The beauty of art is in discovering innate talent.

It always pains me, especially during this time in history, when it seems the podium is solely in the hands of  those who lack the talent; lack the skill; lack the overall understanding and feel it necessary to label and denigrate those who have found their talent; who have created.

Many of these same people complain about labels yet they are quick to do so in the most negative way.

I say this because the people making this 'discovery', over their packaged coffee cups, then turned their attention to ignore the music and spend even more time discussing the importance of a particular reality show with the same reverence one would give to the Bible.

I am not trying to be snob here. Let's give kudos to the talent of this young person. Let's acknowledge the music created by someone else and how it transcends a generation; to the perfection of that art form and its beauty.

My decision in refraining from specific names is to avoid minutia.

Burning Question

Why does it seem that a photograph of an old book or magazine draws more interest than something written about the same book or magazine. Are we primarily visual?

Gas Attack

I was involved in a gas attack today. I had a bad chimichanga at a taco stand. Does that mean I can go to Change.org and petition President Obama to help me?

I Feel Bad

I think I killed a discussion tonight and I feel bad. I think I really killed a discussion tonight and I feel awful; just made it dead; stopped it right in place on the track; brought everybody down. Maybe this IS why I don't get invited anywhere.

Tonight we discussed 'evil'. Real evil. In the face of Cleveland, Boston before it, and Sandy Hook before that; there are, believe it or not, other sickening stories in the news that display the very meaning of inhumanity. The problem is this is a normal day.

I shared an experience I had, and for those of you who know me, you know the story. But beyond that life altering tale, that moment of introspection that drilled through me like a pneumatic diamond tipped bore I left out other frights like the phantom in the basement; the shadow man and his yearly visits; the knife held to my throat; the death threats; God what a mess.

In a way I am lucky to have been in these situations. In a way, I am fortunate to have met, face to face, the evil and the odd, the strange and the dangerous. In some ways it brings a sensibility to what I write and hopefully it has made me not numb but strong.

Whatever we see and read about; whatever we encounter; we all need to take care, watch each others back and recognize and call out evil. We need to shed light on it and make sure it doesn't multiply or persist.

There Truly Is Vampirism Out There

Oh, there truly is. More than ever before I believe. More than there were during the Dark Ages. Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about the flesh and blood kind, not the undead black caped Eastern European voiced ones. These vampires feast on one's energy in form of 'energy' not blood. Everyday of my life, and I believe many of you can chime in on this in your endeavors, I am surrounded by hoardes of 'vampires' sapping my energy and trying my patience. 'Energy Vampires' as they are called have rendered me this week completely exhausted. Here is a case in point; The phone rang and I answered the way I always do "Hello Joseph Patchen speaking" and as I was in the middle of my greeting I heard "Hello". I said " Yes, Hello?" And the response was three more 'hellos'. I stopped and said "I'm here and you are?" And the genius on the other end says "Hello, I am looking for Joseph Patchen." I told her that was me. She then asked me if it really was me. And again I said 'Yes'. The person then says "Thank you and proceeds to cold call on something I requested online." I told her I didn't buy anything. She insisted. I told her I was too poor to buy anything. She persisted. I told her that I am not allowed to buy anything without my wife's pwermission and she continued her scripted pitch. So I hung up. Not more than fifteen seconds later the phone rings again. I pick up and it is her still in the middle of her monologue. Give her an "A" for effort. I praised her for being a real go getter. So I told her 'okay you win' and requested all the details on what she was selling. When she finished you could tell she was smug. She almost sounded sultry when she requested my email so as to send all the paperwork to seal the deal. Beaten as I was well...as she told me how my life would be enhanced by her efforts to help me this day I almost forgot my old and invalid email address -- but I didn't. Next I received a phone call from someone who recommended me to a firm who needed representation. As directed I contacted the principal and we spoke at length about just general stuff such as my qualifications and fees. He then wished a face to face meeting with he and his wife since this involved both of them. At the meeting the next day, it soon became clear this was not going to be a 'corporate' representation since the issue involved his young son and their school. Ten minutes in to the meeting, this individual's demeanor changed one-eighty: he became loud and demanding, at times shouting and always absolute. Each time I tried to calm him he only became louder. It didn't a brain surgeon to conclude that the underlying issue with his son and school lie within his hamster wheeled cranium. As I declined his generous offer that I cut my hourly fee in half I made for the door when his wife actually spoke, begging me to stay and to speak with their in-house in-family social worker about the issue. I excused myself and made for the parking lot. As I reached for my car door a young woman was running toward me shouting my name. This made me more nervous but she was young and fast and I'm fat and slow. She introduced herself as the social worker apologizing and rationalizing for the tone of the meeting. Then almost on a dime her eyes light up and she says "So you have your own office. That must be very exciting for you. Your mommy and daddy must be so proud of you." My reply came without hesitation "Yes, I think they are; but more importantly you see I have been wearing big boy pants now for more than a week and I do not need their help to go potty anymore." She was still standing there dumbstruck as I drove off. You can't beat stupod and crazy and the only way to salvage the energy and ttime they try to take from you is to give it right back. Have a good night.

A Truly Horrific Day

is now drawing to a close. For those today who voiced their pleasure to my household, well what can I say? You are what you are, and I certainly can't say anything to shame you. The mere fact that you took it upon yourself to defeat inertia with the power of hate says more about what kind of society we live in than any pure discussion could. And while many more people are suffering worse hardships this hour than mine; from my experience today I am sure those innocent victims have their detractors as well. It is an awefully sad state of affairs that this culture has become so fractured.