Classic Book Review: KELLER MEMENTO: 25 Years of Short Stories by David H. Keller

If you do not know the name of David Keller and the stories he has written, you have some reading to do. Thanks to Ramble House and Fender Tucker many of the pulp tales of this brilliant writer have been saved from obscurity.

He may not be hip; he may not use four letter language to salt otherwise brand prose; he may not use extreme violence to dress up a meandering plot like so-ooooo many do today. And thank God.

Thank Dr. David H. Keller for original tales; subtle horror and an uneasiness that creeps into your brain long after you put down the page. There are forty five tales here of genius; of brilliance; of terror --- real believable terror.

So please rediscover this lost master. Put away the puke and blue stories that masquerade as literature today; ignore those with special degrees who are 'trained' in writing; and read something worth your while and study. Read something that will show you how to write a horror story.

Where Is An Infomercial When You Need One; A Movie Review: Haunted Prison, SciFi Channel

I have been ill and not sleeping much since slumber on a toilet can be hazardous not to mention messy. In between bouts of health food revenge I found a horror movie on television this early, early morning titled HAUNTED PRISON. Found specifically on the SciFi channel; usually a purveyor of garbage, today they reached a new low in sewage.

Here the spirits of a violent prison riot attack a group of thieves along with a separate group made up of a documentary crew investigating the hauntings; end of plot. This convergence of disparate groups is even more unbelievable than the two gangs of bank robbers robbing the same bank at the same time in "Take The Money And Run". At least the latter was satire and funny; 'Haunted Prison' could only attain a level of sickening. The one star rating for this alleged horror show should have come with a disclaimer explaining why this movie is as overrated as 1980s popular pop music.

Poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed this truly is a horror show. The special effects are laughable no that is incorrect; the special effects are pitiful. The producers of this film would have been better off with a ball of twine, magic markers and sock puppets.

When will the SciFi Channel turn out decent programming? When will we as consumers demand more? Bad is not cute and campy? It is bad. Sharks in a tornado isn't neat --- it is stupid and so are we if we take this for entertainment.

'Haunted Prison' a definite miss, in fact the print should be locked away for life in those states where there is no death penalty.

Thank God for a lot of bowel movements and Thank God that Broderick Crawford and 'Highway Patrol' came in on another channel.

Me and Farrah Fawcett Have Something In Common....

We both are on posters. Classic posters. Well, the one I am on will be a classic.

My 'penny dreadful' 13 word story The Autopsy is now being featured by Haunted Waters Press on one of their ready for framing posters. Posters are $8.00 and can be purchased through Haunted Waters Press.

Original Fiction on Lurid-lit Not mine though.....

For the next two weeks we post original fiction on Lurid-lit. This week Mark Slade's 'Screw Head Was Here'.

NOTIONS in Schlock! Webzine today......in the UK.......

We are pleased to announce that my ghost story NOTIONS appears today in the July 28th edition of Schlock! Webzine in the UK.

Link:
http://www.schlock.co.uk/pb/wp_012a02b7/wp_012a02b7.html

Classic Book Review: THE INTOXICATED GHOST by Arlo Bates, Houghton, Mifflin and Company, 1908,

Arlo Bates died in 1918 and to many his writings died with him. Thank God for used book stores. From his most famous of ghost story and his most famous volume of ghost stories you will not find a better written, more humorous, more serious work.

I dare to invite the wrath of others; here it goes----I'll take Bates any time, any day; you can keep Lovecraft who I still believe gets too much credit.

Classic Book Review: CARMILLA and THE EVIL GUEST by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu

'Carmilla' pre-dates 'Dracula'  and is the classic foundation of vampire literature in its influence to Bram Stoker's novel and works to follow. The theme of lesbianism has also held fascination for readers as well. While dated in presentation this tale is still a solid stalwart to the genre before the entire vampire trope was destroyed completely by more modern takes. Sparkle. Sparkle. If you enjoy classic vampirism and not one who would vie for a 'Rolling Stone' cover then pick this up.

'The Evil Guest' too is a classic of curses and gothic horror; the specialty of Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu.

The volume you see was published by Full Moon Press in 2008. It includes illustrations and a few extras. If you can forgive the extras and the artwork this is a winner. 

The 100th Lurid-lit is on

The 100th post of Lurid-lit is up. A lot has happened and a lot more is to come...

JUST ANOTHER GHOST STORY is in print in SCHLOCK! WEBZINE Today

Out today as issue #118.

Here is the link, visit, read and enjoy:

http://schlock.co.uk/pb/wp_426dc0be/wp_426dc0be.html

I am honored to be a part of this. I have had this publication in mind for quite a while. Thanks guys.

HIT is now on the Blackout City Podcast right now!!!!

My story and script for HIT is on the Black Out City Podcast right now:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/deadrecords0/episode_10_the_hit_by_jospeh_j_patchen

is the link for the further adventures of Joe Smoke....

Shameless Plug and Book Review Okay enough of this: TALES FOR THE TOILET

This anthology contains one of my favorite stories FLIGHT 377. I had a good day when I wrote that one. Short and neat stories from many talented writers. Available through Crowded Quarantine Press and Amazon.

Shameless Plug and Book Review again: 31 MORE NIGHTS OF HALLOWEEN

For G rated horror for the whole family this volume from Rainstorm Press is still available on Amazon.com and from Rainstorm Press. My strange little tale about a strange little boy titled CARBON COPY can be found right here. Enjoy, if you dare....

Moss on the Rolling Stone

I won't spend too much time or space but what a cowardly and distasteful act Rolling Stone has pulled by attempting to victimize someone who is a suspect in eight killings and a suspect in the Boston Marathon Bombing.

To tell the public this an attempt to deal with the complexities of this case and individual is pure crap.

He is almost twenty years old and has a considerable body count. He is almost twenty years old and surveillance shows him ALLEGEDLY placing one of the bombs next to an eight year old boy.

What is complex here? What is 'rock starish' about that? He didn't wreck a hotel room or burn a piano down while playing it or smash a Stratocaster after a concert --- people died.

To victimize this individual to sell rags is stomach turning. And I bet the publishers of this waste of a forest haven't contributed a cent to the Boston One Fund.

Here's a short letter to the editor:

Dear Rolling Stone:

You suck. We should boycott you; the stores that sell your publication and your advertisers.

To paraphrase John Lennon: Instant Karma should get you.

Disgusting.

The 100th Post For Lurid-Lit

We are waiting on it, but the milestone 100th post is on the way. Stay tuned.

Shameless Plug and Book Review: You Can't Kill Me I Am Already Dead: A Vampire Anthology

From Zombie Works Publications. It includes my story "Wake Up"; a story with a past on its way to this fine vampire anthology.

One magazine editor told me the story was and I quote 'Crap' as he described in a long list of items it lacked. Here's the thing, he should have paid more attention to his magazine than my story; he went belly up and this story was very well received not only by the publisher but by comments I received from readers.

I tried sending him a kindle copy but his email is down too.

Maybe I should have sent him Tales For The Toilet?

Classic Book Review: THE BRAM STOKER BEDSIDE COMPANION

Here's your proof that DRACULA wasn't a one hit wonder. Shorter pieces are found here, usually those you would find in old anthologies. Included here are THE JUDGE'S HOUSE, THE BURIAL OF THE RATS, THE SQUAW and seven others. Excellent background too by Charles Osborne.

If you claim to know horror you don't know anything until you have read this volume.

Torment

I find the creative process to be that. As I sit here, having been up all night in my own filth....hey wait a minute. I could use that....

Don't Forget To Pick Up....RIGOROUS MORTIS

From Scarlett River Press. Besides my story "Mr. Friedenhandler" this is a scary mortician's delight.

NOTIONS To Be Published

In the July 28th issue of Schlock. Link to follow.

Faux Paus

Well I guess I am thrown out of another writers' group. This is getting to be a habit and yes, the common denominator is me.

Welcome to Facebook where people live out their fantasy lives in elaborate virtual games played along with family, friends and strangers from around the globe be it dating, farming, whatever. Welcome to Facebook where people can chart their travels and experiences right down to the second as they are sipping a beer in a dive right off the turnpike and close by. Welcome to Facebook where everyone is a success and life is happy. Welcome to Facebook the perpetual High School, family reunion...

And who gives a shit?

All I did was post a simple question. All I did in the spirit of community to writers and artists everywhere is ask what their favorite or most horrible rejection was and how that rejection was ultimately redeemed.

What is wrong with that?

I was looking for positive stories. I was looking for gold pulled out of shit. I was looking for editors who have blown it. The history of literature is chock full of famous cases, so why not add to it and join the illustrious ranks of the famous just before they became famous.

What did I get in return?

Cue crickets. Yeah, crickets. No I lie, I received worse than crickets. I was responded to in silence.

I realize we are an insecure bunch. Otherwise why write? We feel we are important and our thoughts count. We are showmen, exhibitionists and 'bully pulpiteers''. We are walking genitals spewing out waste the bulk of the day; miserable most of the time until we see our name in print and after those few seconds of euphoria and orgasm pass we are back to being small and miserable again as we await the next great rub from a sympathetic editor.

I realize our most important work IS THE NEXT ONE and to admit to any failure received in private in a proud and creative brain is compounded by having to admit to the failure in full public view.

But isn't it better to share the hope? Isn't it better to feel some relief that we are not alone in our quests?

We talk a lot about supporting each other; about being a community and picking each other up when the other falls; so why can't we just be true and truly give guidance once in a while rather than just become a receptacle for applause.

I'm out. I get it but at least denial won't bite me in the butt someday. I can stand by my creations knowing others feel they should be in print for their audiences as well and not just for an audience of one.

JUST ANOTHER GHOST STORY to be published

We are happy to announce that SCHLOCK webzine out of the United Kingdom will publishing JUST ANOTHER GHOST STORY in their July 21st issue. Details to follow.

This year we cut way back on submissions to concentrate in other areas. I hope to have more good news soon.

Thank you Schlock.

Classic Book Review: ZERO HOUR by Vargo Statten, Scion, 1953

More futuristic fisticuffed fun.

Classic Book Review: THE DEVOURING FIRE by Vargo Statten, Scion Limited, 1951

Vargo Statten is one of the several names British author John Russell Fearn wrote by. A prolific pulp writer he is best known for the novelization of THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.
In THE DEVOURING FIRE the reader is transported to the high tech and futuristic world of the year 2000; rocket ships, spaceships and a whole lotta' science fiction going on.

While many critics say his work is "unpolished", believe me he is easier to read than the bulk of what is out today. A great template for many a writer. Grab a copy.

Classic Book Review: FANTASTIC FABLES by Ambrose Bierce

First published in 1898. Ambrose Bierce at his bitter best. More clever and better written than any of the unfunny contrived swear porn out today.

Classic Book Review: THE BOOK OF VAMPIRES by Dudley Wright

Before vampires were turned into romance trash they were taken seriously. Very seriously. First published in 1924 and in continuance publication since, THE BOOK OF VAMPIRES lays down the ground work with stories, superstitions, and marginalia involving those hungry, hungry corpses. A must read for all horror fans and writers just in the way Sun Records is a must listen to all rock fans. A true classic.

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Here's A Cheery Thought.....

I love the internet. It has absolutely everything including a site that will tell forecast your date of demise. www.TheDeathClock.com .

I tried it today. My date of death is February 2, 2012.

Yes February 2, 2012.

SO......either their calculations are dead wrong; or I input the data incorrectly; or God doesn't want me and the Devil doesn't want me either.

There are no complaints about the death clock filed anywhere.

I re-checked my data and all of it is correct.

Hmmm. What do you do to piss off the deity and the prince of darkness?

I'd apologize but I'm too scared.