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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Bob Woodward and The White House Threat

Mr. Woodward has nothing to gain from his claim; after all his demeanor suggests he is a dyed in the wool Dem and liberal. His claim this morning, which had been rendered to writing, truly ushers in the sense many of us have sensed for some time. Whether it is a guild affilation, i.e. a union affiliation or whether it is the party politic: the whiffs coming out of this correctness are rank as spoiled meat. To look away from the bully is not the answer. We can't be afraid and we need to press on against this 'progressive' movement in continuing to dumb down our literature and our news. This presidency has made Nixon and his enemies list look like a 'Moon Mullins' cartoon.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"Temporary Monsters" Reviewed on Lurid-lit

Ian Roger's modern take on vampirism is reviewed on Lurid-lit. The novella that became an anthology sensation is discussed in my column posted today.

Guild Affiliation? You have to be kidding....

So an editor requests my 'guild affiliation'. He checked with the guild with and asked me if I was about to join. When I naively said I had no interest there was no interest in my story. When did writing and the creation of literature become high school? When did it become more important to be part of a union than to the merits of the work. Yeah I am naive but it certainly explains the glut of crap on the market.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

An Ambitious Publication

If anyone knows what happened to Gore Stories please write me. It appears this ambitious publication is no more. But we said that of Scarlett River Press then out of the blue they reappear and publish a story of mine in their last anthology.

I am the Anti-Christ

Yes I write Horror. Even my satire is strung around Horror. My children's stories have an element of Horror. It is how my brain works. So now I am hearing from people; people who readily admit they have never read any of my pieces but am concerned about my psychological, emotional and professional health. I have been advised to close up shop. I have been advised to write under an pseudonym. I am amazed that people who find some of the television and movies and books that they enjoy; I am amazed that people who have never read anything I have written; all have a better grasp on things cultural than I do. I'm tired of giving them credit; tired of saying that they 'mean well'. Deep down they don't. So if I am the Anti-Christ; fine. A least I know when I die there will still always be barbecue and I think I may know more people there than the other place.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

"Dust" Opens Podcast

Surreal Grotesque's Podcast 7 debuts today with my short story "Dust" opening the festivities. Drop by SurrealGrotesque.com for this and others...

Friday, February 22, 2013

God, I Am An Old Fart....

Because I can clearly remember the first cast of Saturday Night Live and Chevy Chase's joke about Franco still being dead. Well, to parallel that --- I still have yet to hear from E-HORROR!!! You know I can get a Ouija Board and hear from the General -- I have no clue about this workshop deal.

The link for the Podcast of "A Night In The Country"

For those who missed it here is the link for the podcast that includes my story A NIGHT IN THE COUNTRY: http://archive.org/details/SurrealGrotesquePodcastEpisodeTwo You can cut and paste on your browsers....

Thursday, February 21, 2013

It's Alive --- Heck It Must be Catching.....

If you use Ralan.com for all of your market necessities I need to point out one glaring error. IT IS LURID-LIT.COM not lurid lit. com and not luridlit.com. I conveyed this information to Ralan months ago when the domain name expired and I thought all was well. Well, Ralan's checker declared "Luridlits" dead and buried but ignored the real one. WE ARE ALIVE AND WELL AND NOTIFYING RALAN, who has a marvelous site and does us all an immense service.

Exhibitionist? You Bet....

It was brought up to me last night in rather dismaying and disappointing fashion that I seem to be overly excited about publishing works. The context of this statement was made by a student in my writing class I was putting emphasis on this aspect as part of the course and for discussing, in the first place, with new writers. First, this is the stated goal of the course as found in the Course Catalog. Second, isn't this the underlying goal of why we write? Don't we want to share? We bear our souls outward on paper or on a screen for what purpose...? ---To lock our sentiments in a drawer only to be thrown away when we pass from this earth? Then why take a creative writing class? We are writers, we are performers at readings and on podcasts and on trailers; we blog and facebook and have websites for the whole world wide web to see and beg people to read and buy our intellectual property. Am I, a short, overweight, aging, Italian American male an exhibitionist by saying here I am and here is my stuff please read? Does that make me an exhibitionist for my dreams, nightmares and odd mental musings? ----You bet you __________ I am. And if you write, whether you have published or not --- you are too. And this is nothing to be ashamed of.

Monday, February 18, 2013

IT'S ALIVE!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!! ALIVE!!!! ALIVE!!!

SCARLETT RIVER PRESS has just published the horror anthology RIGOROUS MORTIS: A MORTICIAN'S TALES. At last!!! My story "Mr. Friedenhandler" is Chapter 18. A longtime coming and I thank Jo-Anne Russell and Allen Jacoby so very much for including me in this marvelous collection of horror and terror. It is available on Amazon.com, Smashworlds and Create Space in both paperback and e-formats.

"Diminishing Sight" and "A Night In The Country" Selected for ANTHOLOGY

"A Night In The Country" and "Diminishing Sight" have been selected for the Anthology, THE BEST OF SURREAL GROTESQUE, due out by the end of this month. Anthology will only cost you 99 cents. More info coming from Surreal Grotesque and here soon.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

DUST to be on PODCAST

We just found out as we were listening to the Surreal Grotesque Podcast Episode 6 that DUST will be appearing on Episode 7 next week. More details to follow here and on SurrealGrotesque.com,

Friday, February 15, 2013

"Dust" is published on Surreal Grotesque

Surreal Grotesque has published DUST on the website. You will find it under NEW STORIES. DUST was submitted in a writing prompt contest where it was a runner up. Thank you Daniel and SURREAL GROTESQUE for publishing DUST.

We finally updated......

josephjpatchen.weebly.com is finally updated. Yeah, things have been slow what with my day job demands but we are staring to write and submit again. Fingers crossed.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" Reviewed now on Lurid-lit.com

My review of “The Horror! The Horror! Comic Books The Government Didn’t Want You To Read!" by Jim Trombetta from Abrams ComicArts is on Lurid-lit.com now. See how the gun violence debate of that day, juvenile delinquency in the 1950s was fought and lost for society as a whole. The art is fantastic and the story is sad. Many, many lives and businesses were destroyed as the progressives of their time failed to make a dent in crime. Like prohibition before see how the emotional, knee jerk, band aid mentality will ultimately always and consistently lead to us utter failure.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

REUNION is on The Carnage Conservatory now!!!

We are happy to announce that my short story REUNION, a fun little ditty about a man and the deconstruction of his family is on THE CARNAGE CONSERVATORY now. We give you a little rhyme, a little rhythm and a lot of mayhem.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Interesting Numbers

Besides the 38 inches of snow that fell here between Friday and Saturday; as well as the 5 foot snow drifts etc.; I came across some interesting numbers that have been trending for the last six months. Many of you who feel the need to practice this torture called writing and submissions are aware of the website DUOTROPE. It is a writers' website where we hopefuls can search and find the next crushing rejection. Free until the beginning of 2013 the site does publish a monthly state of the state of publishing. In the last 30 days 177 markets have re-opened! Hooray!!! BUT 166 others have temporarily closed and an additional 114 are offically dead leaving a net loss of 103. On this day before the night that THE WALKING DEAD return, and I don't mean the state of music to be celebrated via the Grammys (Go MEGADETH), the downward trend of markets has been steady. As writers we need to plug away and utilize every potential media we can. Like the dead who walk that we write about, we are not quite finished yet.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Mr. Friedenhandler may not be dead (again) yet.....

Heard from Scarlett River Press and there may be some hope for the Anthology "Mortician's Tales". Keep your fingers crossed.

I Will Take It......DUST

My story DUST is a runner up in the Surreal Grotesque's latest contest whereupon the editor tosses you a prompt and you write an under 1,000 word flash fiction tale. Hooray!! My prompt was young girls find a OUIJA Board and an old diary and let the horror begin....

Thursday, February 7, 2013

So We Went It Alone and I forgot my pants.....

Peaked vs. peeked vs. piqued----how they Heck do I know I'm a writer not a grammerticition or a dictionarian. Are those real words? No but what the Heck. Language is a wonderful thing and as writers we try to stretch meanings and images. We try to push the envelope. We try to invent words. We try because we write and we write because we are afraid of our own mortality; and being the narcissists we are, we think our words and thoughts will live on forever. Yeah, that and being an immediate attention whore helps. Anyway, sometimes we get bull headed and do not think with our right head; we get all caught up in being masters of language when we should just use a bloody dictionary. I used the wrong term in a column. My wife, today, was the only person to point it out to me. It is a good thing she is around to ground me now and then.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"A Light To Starve By" Reviewed on Lurid-lit.com NOW!!

A different and marvelous post apocalyptic view. It is more than the vampires that have swallowed mankind. This is a marvelous story that rises above the rest. Check out the review on Lurid-lit.com now.

Our Writing Course Will Start Shortly

Confirmed today that my Creative Writing Course is a go. My class size is small, only 5 people, but I think with this number, my students will be better able to discuss their projects and review the projects of others. I also believe greater attention can be given to them individually as well. I look forward to this challenge which I believe is an invitation to bring others into the fold of our writing community. More to follow....

Sunday, February 3, 2013

"The Perfect Home" Published Tonight In Surreal Grotesque 9

After the Super Bowl take a look at Surreal Grotesque 9. In this issue published tonight you will find my short story "The Perfect Home" just in time for Valentines Day.