Friday, September 30, 2011

Intermission and a note

Before we proceed through the final installments of the ghosts and the gourmet, those who tuned in for Paranormal Home Remodeling, it will be pre-empted for a while after all poltergeists and nail guns do not mix.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Chapter 3 It Crushed My Ding Dong

It was also at the moment that we discovered there was a second voice on our recorder. This was the voice of a female. As we listened closely within the white noise we could hear 'oops'; and then when I realized it crushed my ding dong.

In a bag next to the grill some eight inches from my tongs and apron in a crisp new brown paper lunch bag my ding dong was smashed, yet the bag is untouched.

Afraid? Yes. I should have left my snack in the car.

Chapter 2 A Gourmet

We shuddered when we heard that chilling voice. For a moment we were frozen where we stood. Then I realized this place's last incarnation was an adult movie house. I should have worn my other sneakers.

Luckily too we caught the voice on our digital recorders.

After careful review we realized we not only discovered paranormal activity; we discovered a gourmet.

Chapter 1 The Set Up

So they think they can scare me. They think because I mock them with a ghost cooking show idea this local paranormal group will show me whats what and what is by bringing me to a haunted location while I toil with my grill.

I have news for them; if you saw the size of me; nothing----I mean nothing gets between me and my food.

To quote the song as recorded by the immortal Jerry Lee Lewis and written by Robert Geddins--'Ain't no haint's gonna run me off.'

As we were setting up our equipment; grill, cameras, infrared lights, etc. One tech, on his union demanded break, went to eat a balogna sandwich; now keep in mind four of us were there; it got very cold--cold to the point we could see our own breath. Goose bumps sprung up on our skin; in an instant the sandwich appeared to be slapped from the huingry man's hand and mouth and we all heard in a strained by vile voice----GET OUT!

The game is on.

The Introduction

Well we did well on Dennis Miller this morning pitching the ghost hunt chef idea. Dennis liked it and email has been pouring in today from locals wanting more info. So, more info is ahead. This pitch that has grown a tail will appear in installments.
Enjoy the read.

Part 1 The Introduction

Television programming is no doubt mostly reality television and in the next year you will see a dramatic rise in paranormal programming; bascially ghost stories and ghost hunting. Couple this with our lust for food and travel and hence my pitch yesterday.

Well I have been contacted by a group who is unhappy as they feel I mocked them. What will follow is our attempt to hunt the other world while also satisfying our gluttony.

Further installments to follow.

Monday, September 26, 2011

What Are You Watching?

I have put together a pitch for a prime time reality television show that I believe should cross over two strong demographics. This show is perfect for holiday sweeps as well as those mundane times during the spring and summer.

What we do is travel to each state in the union, (that is fifty Mr. President) and match up paranormal teams and chefs. We find the most haunted place and have the chef cook during a night time lock down as the paranormal team hunts ghosts.

Recipes can be collected on evps and fun and mayhem, depending on the site, can ensue.

If this is successful we can branch out to 'paranormal home remodeling'; just keep an eye on the nail gun.

Don't be sure someone hasn't beaten me to it though.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Changes at "Weird Tales"

I was surprised to see 'Catching Cold In A Cave' was returned by Weird Tales. Okay, I will pat myself on the back--yes it is THAT good; but the reason is a change in editorship. I wish everyone, incoming and outgoing, the best of luck.

I do want to thank the editors for their professionalism in returning my manuscript with that explanation; I have spoken with several other people whose fates are unknown.

So all of us who are insomniacs because of our fear to sleep, perchance to dream, so we write it out our heads--will await further word on content and policies.

Since 'Catching A Cold In A Cave' is not violent, just a creeping scare; we are shopping this tale to other like venues.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Final Revision To This Blog

We are back and FINALLY will be back in the final form. This Blog has changed from political to general and now it goes to what it was intended for. Mainly I write horror stories and my aim to scare the hell out of you or make so so uneasy you scare the hell out of yourself dwelling on what I have communicated. I am proud to say that my short story A BAD FRIDAY has been selected by Jeff Chitty for his SPLATTERPUNK IS NOT DEAD! I hope in the near future to make other like announcements.

After a long life and period of satisfying other people with my career my beautiful wife has decided, because of some local and sporadic success, to turn this demon loose and loose we will be.

I know this world is a scary place; I am here to make it scarier for my readers.

Some fiction will appear as will opinion as will observation. I hope you are entertained.